New Year, New Goals: How to Build a Future Aligned with Your Desires

"The future is not a place we are going to, but a project we are building."

Initial considerations:

Antoine de Saint-Exupéry's phrase invites us to reflect on the future as a continuous construction, a space shaped by our choices and actions in the present. Written in a context of war, in an era marked by technological transformations and the horrors of the Second World War, this idea resonates as a cry of hope and responsibility in the face of chaos. Saint-Exupéry, with his poetic and existential vision, echoes the thoughts of philosophers like Sartre, for whom human freedom carries the anguish of deciding and creating meaning in a world without guarantees.

Every year, we are compelled to start over. We make promises and resolutions, believing that the next year will be different, that mistakes will be corrected, and goals finally achieved. This practice is not merely modern, but deeply rooted in the human condition. In psychoanalysis, Freud already highlighted the desire to "repair," an impulse linked to the Superego, which guides us towards overcoming failures and pursuing ideals. In cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), the construction of clear and achievable goals reflects this same desire, transforming aspirations into concrete changes.

From Desire to Conquest:

The pursuit of the future, so prevalent in New Year's resolutions, is not a modern phenomenon. Its roots extend to Antiquity, when the Romans celebrated Janus, the god of transitions and beginnings. Represented with two faces, one turned towards the past and the other towards the future, Janus symbolized the human capacity to reflect on what has already been experienced while projecting towards what is to come. The resolutions made in his honor at the beginning of the year were not merely a ritual; they were a landmark of renewal, a way of affirming the importance of learning from mistakes and adjusting our steps for new paths. This practice highlights a fundamental characteristic of our condition: the need to find meaning in what has passed and the courage to plan for what is to come.

In philosophy, this idea is further developed by thinkers like Martin Heidegger, who reminds us that the human being is, essentially, a "project" in constant construction. For Heidegger, we exist in a state of "being-in-the-world," where our choices and actions continually shape who we are and who we can become. The future, from this perspective, is not a place we passively arrive at, but a horizon of possibilities that we actively create, often driven by our past experiences and present desires. This vision invites us to see resolutions and promises as more than superficial desires; they are expressions of our commitment to the process of becoming better, more conscious, and more aligned with our values.

Promising a better year, then, is a gesture of hope and responsibility. It's an act that goes beyond mere words, as it involves affirming our ability to shape reality and act as protagonists of our own story. However, why do so many of these resolutions, made with sincerity and hope, end up forgotten or unfulfilled throughout the year?

Psychoanalysis offers a profound key to understanding what lies behind promises that never materialize. Often, the desire for change is not entirely authentic or free, but is associated with an ideal of perfection that has been unconsciously internalized. Freud identified this internal demand as a manifestation of the Superego, a psychic instance that regulates our behaviors according to internalized standards and values, frequently inherited from authority figures such as parents, teachers, or society in general. The Superego, by demanding a high standard of perfection, can generate an internal conflict that results in frustration and self-sabotage.

Imagine someone who constantly promises to “be more productive next year,” but never manages to keep that commitment. This desire may be fueled by an inner voice that says, “If you’re not exceptional, it’s not worth trying.” Under this pressure, any mistake or deviation from the initial plan can feel like an absolute failure, leading to the complete abandonment of the goal. This cycle of trying and giving up reinforces the belief in one's own inadequacy, creating a barrier that prevents genuine change.

Jacques Lacan deepens this analysis by introducing the concept of the imaginary, suggesting that many goals are more connected to what we believe we “should” be than to what we truly desire or are capable of achieving. Someone might, for example, set as a goal “having the ideal body” because they associate this image with success or social acceptance. However, this goal may not reflect a true and personal desire, but rather an attempt to conform to an external expectation. As a result, the disconnect between authentic desire and the pursued objective creates a difficulty in sustaining the effort, generating a feeling of inadequacy.

Psychoanalysis, by exploring memories, experiences, and personal narratives, helps to identify where these promises come from and why they seem so difficult to keep. A practical example would be someone who promises to save more money but cannot control their spending. A psychoanalytic analysis could reveal that this difficulty is related to childhood experiences, such as a feeling of deprivation or the emotional association of shopping with comfort or happiness. By understanding these unconscious roots, the individual can begin to reassess their goals and redefine them in a way that is more aligned with their real desires and possibilities.

This approach seeks not only to resolve symptoms (such as broken promises), but also to transform the person's relationship with their goals and with themselves. By bringing to light internal tensions and unconscious conflicts, psychoanalysis allows the individual to reconcile with their own expectations, breaking the cycle of frustration and creating space for genuine and sustainable change.

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) addresses this issue in a practical and objective way. Often, difficulty in achieving goals is associated with dysfunctional beliefs and automatic thoughts. CBT works to identify these thought patterns and replace them with more realistic and functional beliefs.

One of the strategies frequently used in CBT to promote concrete changes is the SMART method, developed by George T. Doran in 1981. The acronym SMART stands for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound. This method helps transform broad and generic goals into clear, specific, and achievable objectives, allowing the individual to monitor progress and increase the likelihood of success.

For example, instead of setting a generic goal like "get in shape," the SMART method suggests more detailed and realistic goals, such as "take a 30-minute walk three times a week for the next two months." This approach translates aspirations into concrete actions, helping the individual overcome emotional and practical barriers. In CBT, this technique is especially useful for people who feel overwhelmed by vague or unattainable goals, promoting a more objective framework for achieving significant change.

If this dynamic of broken promises is recurrent, there may be an underlying condition, such as anxiety or depression, that interferes with the ability to plan and act. Combining psychoanalytic and CBT approaches can be especially effective. While psychoanalysis helps to understand the emotional and unconscious conflicts that underpin these patterns, CBT provides practical tools to transform desires into concrete actions.

Therefore, overcoming the cycle of empty promises requires both a deep look at what motivates these goals and real strategies to put them into practice. This process may not be simple, but it is profoundly transformative. By recognizing limitations while simultaneously creating achievable goals, it is possible to build a path more aligned with one's own abilities and desires, breaking the pattern of frustration and inaugurating a cycle of genuine achievements.

Final Considerations:

Completing a cycle of unfulfilled promises and transforming aspirations into concrete achievements may seem like an immense challenge, but it is absolutely possible. The future, as Antoine de Saint-Exupéry reminds us, is an ongoing project that we build with our choices and actions in the present. Understanding the internal dynamics that hinder the achievement of goals, through psychoanalysis, and combining this with practical strategies, such as those provided by cognitive-behavioral therapy, is a path that allows us not only to dream of a better year, but to make it a reality.

Imagine how liberating it would be to reassess your goals in light of your authentic desires, free from the pressures of external expectations or unattainable ideals. Furthermore, consider the possibility of planning each step clearly, using tools like the SMART method, to transform big dreams into achievable actions. Each small victory reinforces your ability to continue, creating a positive cycle of accomplishment.

Ultimately, what would you do differently if you knew that next year could, in fact, mark a true transformation? This journey, as we've learned, is less about the destination and more about the daily construction of who we want to become. The invitation is made: the future begins now, and it is a reflection of the choices you decide to make today.

Did you enjoy this article? Share your thoughts in the comments! How about helping others start the new year with purpose and clarity? Share this text on your social networks and tag friends who are also ready to turn promises into achievements. Let's build a New Year full of accomplishments together!

Bibliographic References

DORAN, George T. There's a SMART Way to Write Management's Goals and Objectives. Management Review , vol. 70, no. 11, p. 35-36, 1981.

FREUD, Sigmund. The Ego and the Id. Rio de Janeiro: Imago, 1996.

HEIDEGGER, Martin. Being and Time. Petrópolis: Vozes, 2012.

Lacan, Jacques. The Writings. Rio de Janeiro: Zahar, 1998.

SAINT-EXUPÉRY, Antoine de. The Little Prince. Rio de Janeiro: Agir, 2009.

SARTRE, Jean-Paul. Being and Nothingness. São Paulo: Vozes, 2020.

TÉBAR, Leonardo F. Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy in Practice. São Paulo: Atlas, 2017.